Kathryn Pinkham- 3 Ways to Manage Sleep Anxiety
3 Ways to Manage Sleep Anxiety
One of the most common issues people with insomnia face is anxiety. For some, anxiety was the trigger for their sleep problems, while for others, it became part of the cycle—worrying about not sleeping, then struggling even more to drift off. It’s a frustrating loop, but there are effective ways to break it.
As a sleep expert and founder of The Insomnia Clinic, I’ve supported thousands of people to sleep better using evidence-based techniques. Here are my three top tips for managing sleep anxiety.
1. Notice Your Worries
When we feel anxious, we often try to push the feelings away or ignore them. Other times, we overthink and get caught up in our fears, which only makes things worse. When we do this, our brain treats the worry as something dangerous and triggers the threat response. That’s why your mind decides to wake you up at 3am—it’s trying to protect you by making sure you listen.
So, what can you do? Instead of waiting for those middle-of-the-night wakeups, we’re going to pre-empt the problem by giving your worries a time and place to be ‘heard’.
Step 1: Notice
Each day, set aside 10–15 minutes to write down your worries. However silly or irrational they seem, don’t ignore any of them. This is a therapeutic way of listening to your mind. Often, you’ll realise you have far fewer worries than you thought, or when in black and white, they seem more manageable. Either way, you are getting them all out in the open- a worry is much more manageable when we face it head-on.
Step 2: Separate Real and Hypothetical Worries
Not all worries are created equal. Once you’ve written them down, it’s important to divide them into two types, real and hypothetical.
Real worries are things that have already happened. For example, I’ve lost my job, I feel unwell, or my house sale just fell through. The good news about these worries is that these are things you can do something about. They require action, not rumination.
Next, you make a plan. What steps can you take? Who can you contact? When? Write them in your diary and break them into small, manageable goals. Next time these worries pop up, you can reassure yourself that you have a plan.
The rest of the worries on your list are called ‘hypothetical worries’. These are things that haven’t happened —or might never happen. These usually start with “what if…” such as ‘What if I lose my job because I’m not sleeping?’ or ‘What if I get ill from lack of sleep?’. It may well be the case that in the past you did get ill from lack of sleep, but the key here is that right now, it's a fear of something that may happen, not something which has.
Instead of fighting these thoughts or engaging in them, practice acknowledging and accepting them. Say to yourself, ‘That’s a “what if” worry,’ and let it pass without engaging.
Step 3: Feel the Anxiety
We don’t like feeling anxious—it’s uncomfortable—so we often distract ourselves or try to block it out. But when we don’t let ourselves feel anxiety, the body treats it as something dangerous that we won’t be able to cope with. This ramps up adrenaline and keeps the cycle going as your mind tries to protect you from danger.
To break the pattern, we need to teach the body that these feelings are safe to experience.
Try this:
- Zoom in on the feeling of anxiety. Where do you feel it in your body? How do you know you’re anxious—tight chest, racing heart, knots in your stomach?
- Describe it in detail, without judgment. You can write this down or label it out loud.
- Remind yourself: “This feeling is unpleasant, but it’s not dangerous.”
By doing this, you’re allowing the anxiety to be processed. The more you face it, the less power it has. Over time, those same thoughts won’t trigger such a strong response.
Sleep anxiety is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome when dealing with insomnia. But by changing how you respond to worry—giving it space, separating what you can and can’t control, and allowing your body to process fear—you’re taking powerful steps towards sleeping better.
If you want more support, my step-by-step Sleep Well & Live Better course teaches you exactly how to overcome sleep anxiety and break the cycle of insomnia for good. You can also save £30 on the full course for lifetime access using the code DREAMI30.